Doco Recommendo: This Dust of Words

This is one of my all-time favourite documentaries. It’s about Elizabeth (Liz) Wiltsee, a brilliant young woman who excels in every school subject, has a 200 IQ and a special love for literature/writing. It’s the story of a bright light’s slide into paranoid schizophrenia, and a possible mystical experience when homeless towards the tragic end of her life.

Poem: Rewind Me Back To The Nineties

Rewind Me Back To The Nineties

If I search the recesses of my memory
I can recall a time before childhood trauma
was all the rage and we were blissfully
ignorant of how those we looked up to
as mavericks and rebels with or without causes
who opted for the crazy life suffered genuinely
from one or another personality disorder,
a schizo-this or complex-that, and the substances
they helped romanticise were really just
non-prescription meds helping them regulate
wild emotions or sedate their inner demons.

A time when each of us felt empowered to
do as we pleased and to go our own way,
not knowing how these choices, in truth,
were the dictates of neurological damage
or that our carpe diem paths were actually
well-trodden tracks leading to reservoirs
of shame which would overwhelm our mid-
life sense of self-worth while contributing
to the freakiest nightmares and breakdowns.

Today there are more than two hundred
classified forms of mental illness – so many
you feel like if you’re not getting with the whole
credential-accumulation game with your
little Fitbit and ultra-woke attitude then
you have a responsibility both to yourself
and others to reassess your life or get used to
being told you’re in denial.

Oh, rewind me
back to the nineties, when dysfunctional
was so much better than just functional,
critics didn’t begrudge artistic catharsis
and to be an in-your-face fuck-up –
yeah, nah, that was sweet as.



Bill Cosby: guilty.
So dispicable, isn’t it?

The man’s god-like; an icon;
the face of the American

The object of hope and grace
is now one of shock and vitriole –
a mirror to everything
we hate about ourselves;
human, all too human?

Like Lucifer, the bringer of light,
his love of God was so deep
that he refused to bow
to the Lord’s lesser creations.

Difference is, he’s been trying,
trying so hard to balance
out the ledger ever since,
knowing he wouldn’t be able to
achieve that from a prison cell.

I mean, do you think Jules Winfield
marched straight from delivering
the case to Marsellus
over to the county sherrif?

And hell, could the purpose of sin even be
to create the kind of debt that motivates
good deeds, like how Germany
takes in all those refugees?

Well, whatever.
One thing we can see
is that the ‘media/lawyer T.V. show’
continues to be the highest rating;
former celebrity appearances include
Hulk Hogan, Bill Clinton, O.J. Simpson,
and the list goes on …

Predictable as it is, we just can’t
get enough of it can we?.

Can’t help but love to hate
that baby-face turned heel.

THE ROBOT WITHIN (After Colin Wilson)

Anything that I can’t
be bothered
taking conscious control of,
the robot within
is more than happy
to autopilot.

The inner monologue,
the opinion forming,
the self-reflection;
they’ve all become
the robot’s dominion.

Kind of a “shock to the system”
to realise that,
without me even
being aware of it,
I have actually identified
as the robot quite a bit.

Although, I am
starting to recognise
a few of the clues;
like whenever the world
appears as nothing more
than a mechanism to be
and maintained;
that’s a dead giveaway
that the robot
is owning a controlling share
of my perception.

Here’s why a breakdown
isn’t really the worst thing;
it provides an opportunity
to wake up to such indicators.

Problem is,
you know that robot
ain’t gonna surrender control
of the faculty
quite as effortlessly
as he assumed it,
and you definitely don’t want to
switch him off
because you need him
for all of those complex
little biological processes,
so many of which are going on
from moment to moment,
that it really is the true
definition of awesome,

and makes you glad
he’s not your enemy.


What does it mean to “Heal”?

The etymology of the the word Heal, as posted in the online etymology dictionary reads as follows:

heal (v.) Look up heal at Dictionary.comOld English hælan “cure; save; make whole, sound and well,” from Proto-Germanic *hailjan (cognates: Old Saxon helian, Old Norse heila, Old Frisian hela, Dutch helen, German heilen, Gothic ga-hailjan “to heal, cure”), literally “to make whole,” from PIE *kailo- “whole” (see health). Intransitive sense from late 14c. Related: Healed; healing

It’s important to consider that many healing methodologies pit the person against their illness, which enforces duality:

Docu Drama about Joblessness

Synopsis: “Jobless Days” is a black-and-white documentary drama based on the diary of the script writer of the film, Riikka Tanner, from the beginning of the 90s. It describes the everyday life during different seasons of the year, of a woman living her life in Helsinki, the capital of Finland, in a small apartment, without work, searching for work, and writing about life and events surrounding her. At the same time, the world undergoes great changes: the Berlin Wall is taken down and the Soviet Union collapses. It is a meditative essay on hope and hopelessness, loneliness, and social despair.